Online Fame | A 'blog written by Chris Rhee

I don’t understand how so many people can be taking the Atkin’s approach to losing/maintaining weight. Many restaurants and fast food chains are altering their menus to accomodate the low carbers and so are major brand name foods. I go grocery shopping regularly and every other time I go, I notice a new low carb version of a product.

And it’s not supposed to really be a “diet”. It’s a “way of life”— so they would have to restrict their carbohydrates every single day for the rest of their lives. I don’t know how they can do it. Cigarettes are nothing. I’m addicted to pastas, potatoes, breads, and sugars.

I did lose some weight in the past year without being on any sort of plan. The Chris Rhee diet: Find a bedroom that faces the sun and traps heat like a green house. Then put this bedroom right on top of the garage, which also traps heat (until it rises through the floors and into your bedroom). Sweat off so much weight— even your neighbor gets skinny.

But seriously… Good luck to any dieters out there. Especially people on the low carb diets. Anyone who can decline someone saying, “Would you like fries with that?” has some crazy amount of will power.

If you’re thinking of being a battle emcee, I suggest you use the name, “I Suck Dick”. Step into a battle and your opponent won’t be able to say your name without sounding stupid. And even if you do get dissed, at least you can walk away with the satisfaction of knowing that you made the other person say the words, “I suck dick” at least once or twice in their verse.

I’m reading a book for class and the last word on the line was too long and had to be split between two lines by using our friend, Mr. Hyphen. They couldn’t have picked a better word to do this with than “analysis”. And they also couldn’t have picked a better way to split up that word than “anal-ysis”.

And that ends the most amusing part of this 875 page book.

I’m about to leave for class. I only go to school three days out of the week and I still hate it… From my four hour class last night, the only thing I remember is the teacher talking about some cop who would go home and beat his wife and how he was, “Literally wearing two different skins”.

If he was literally wearing two different skins, he’d be like that guy on Hannibal… Or maybe Face/Off….